Another week, another AWESOME event!
This week our fearless leader and #girlboss Laurel Winkel will be a featured speaker at: “RISE! Remodelers on the Rise” Conference out in Michigan.
Here’s a link for more details: Rise Conference 2025 – Remodelers On The Rise
This event focuses on: Ideas, Inspiration. Implementation!
Laurel’s presentation focused on having the right gear for a rock face ascent on El Capitan. Just like a technical ascent needs the right gear, getting through the messy bits in a business setting take the “right” stuff.
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Unlimited Positive Mindset
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Relentless pursuit of the Vision
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Proper Preparation
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The Right People
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Allowing yourself to “grow” through it
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Understanding Cognitive Distortions
What are Cognitive Distortions? We’re glad you asked. These habits can make or break your ability to move forward the rough patches in any project or business.
All or Nothing
The “All or Nothing” mentality looks like this: Now THAT was a dumb mistake! I’m a terrible person! This is of course a wild generalization. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are not equal to your worth as a person. But, thinking this way can kill your motivation.
Overgeneralization
This looks like: Jennifer always misses her deadlines. Terms like “always” or “never” are generally inaccurate and create labels that are demotivating.
Discounting the Positive & Filtering
Literally nothing on this project is going right. Accurate? Probably not. It can feel that way for sure, but this kind of thinking tricks the mind into focusing on the negative. The more negative there is, the easier it is to lose motivation.
Mind Reading (or what I like to call “Making up Stories”)
“The Project Manager didn’t answer when I called, he’s obviously ignoring me on purpose.” Is that a possible reason? Sure. Are there others that are more likely? He’s with a client? Home sick in bed? At another client meeting? Exercising at the gym. In the bathroom. We get into trouble when we make up stories without the facts. There’s a scary pattern here: Call not answered. Feeling. Thought. Decision. Action.
What starts as a simple missed call turns into an action that can lead to broken professional relationships, projects delays and errors.
Fortune Telling
“I just KNOW the Plumber won’t arrive on time.” Have you noticed that what you expect, positive or negative, usually happens? Maybe the plumber won’t arrive on time, but it’s not the end of the world. You can engage a different plumber, adjust your schedule or call your partner to tell them you’ll be a bit late to dinner.
Predict the negative and you’ll get it! A simple change in mindset to predict the positive? Well, even if you don’t get it, you’ll be in a much better place to address whatever issues arise.
Magnification
Magnification goes like this: “I only have an Associates Degree, I’m not as smart as she is.” First of all, education and intellect do not necessarily go hand in hand. Life skill and the wisdom gained from experience are not to be discounted. And frankly, not matter what your level of education there is always someone with more degrees or credentials. This kind of thought patterns minimizes all you DO bring to the table and can be a real motivation killer. You may make huge mistakes by deferring to another “expert” opinion instead of doing what you know to be right or best.
Emotional Reasoning
Feeling tired? Stressed? Frustrated with a pushy client? That may lead to emotional reasoning like this: “The designer is ignoring my project, I’m not a priority.” This could result in distancing yourself from the situation, engaging in detrimental eating or drinking habits or getting really mad and showing up in person and demanding action.
While emotions can definitely be our friends, sometimes they lie to us. If we believe them we can really put our foot in it and have some serious crow to eat.
Should-ing
I once had training with an International Business Communication Coach. I remember this one nugget: Don’t “should” on yourself.
Should-ing goes like this: “Kyle should definitely not be eating that cookie.” We elevate ourselves to a position of authority, qualified to make judgements about another person and their actions.
Labeling
“Jared is a slob, his truck is a mess.” Labels, nicknames, they stick! And while the truck may be messy, maybe there’s a reason behind it. Sometimes people are doing the best they can. The last thing most of us need is another critic. We already are well familiar with the things we need to do to improve. Messy is not equal to a slob. What others perceive as a “mess” is at times a sign of creativity. At others, a renovation zone. At still others someone with a teenager who borrowed the truck. Labels can get us into big trouble with projects as they can cause diminished trust, conflict and workmanship concerns.
Personalization
This involves taking responsibility for things outside your control: “The accident is my fault because I sent him on the errand.”
So what do I do about it?
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Become Aware of your thoughts
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Objectively Analyze the situation
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Recognize the effects of these distortions
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Challenge your thoughts, remove labels and avoid absolutes
Here’s a handy acronym to help change outcomes you don’t like: C.T.F.A.R.
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CIRCUMSTANCES are the facts
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You have a THOUGHT about the circumstances
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That thought creates a FEELING
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A feeling drives your ACTIONS
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Your actions create a RESULT
The invitation is simple: If you want a different result, you need to start by changing the thoughts you have about circumstances.
Here are some simple actions you can take to support you in this process:
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Make a running list of things that went well
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Look at how far you’ve come
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Prime the day with gratitude
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Step back and simplify
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Do a confidence walk
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Remind yourself -you did the best you could with what you knew at the time
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When all else fails…ice cream.
